1 bottle Vodka
Lemonade

Pour 1 oz Vodka into a glass. Now add an additional 0.1 oz for every 100K USD that you earn up to a maximum of 3oz. Now Remove 0.2 oz for every child you have. Remove 0.1 oz for each 12K USD that you can depreciate on you house. Add 0.4 oz if you are married, Add 0.1 oz for every 100K USD you made in profit form investments, add 0.075oz for each 100K USD you received in interest payments. Remove 0.001 oz for each LLC you own. Remove 0.01 oz for each Solar Panel on your house. Multiply the contents of the glass by 3.142 and the divide by the your salary to denote the amount of Lemonade to add.

Now give it to any government official and ask him to sip 0.00175 oz for every dollar you have spent in your state. Also ask him to take a another sip for anything you may have bought over the internet.

Take the remaining drink and attempt to drink it through your anus whilst smiling.

If you don't like it then you will be imprisoned until you do.